community

all boards


birth clubs



my blog

Sort:
01-28-2013 at 12:09 PM
PepVeroni
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-31-2009
5,488 Points
PepVeroni is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 4:22 PMNewbie

name issue - would this deter you?

My husband and I FINALLY shared our opinions on each other's name lists, and while we have a couple possibilities that we both like, he wasn't a huge fan of my favorite, Tessa.  He prefers Vanessa, which I am just lukewarm about.

 He had two issues with Tessa.  Would either of these deter you from using the name?

-His name is Jeff, so he's concerned that Tess sounds too similar and would be confused a lot while calling the names in the house.  I don't think she would go by Tess until she's older, if at all, and I don't see it as a big problem.

-Our neighbor's toddler is named Vessa.  I actually shared with this neighbor a while back, well before I was pregnant again, that Tessa was my favorite girl name, and she thought it was cool.  These neighbors are not close friends, but our older kids (Vessa and our DS James) will be in the same grade at school.


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  Pregnancy Ticker 
01-28-2013 at 12:14 PM
526SadieSa...
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-06-2009
Hope, RI
34,926 Points
526SadieSadie is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 2:30 PMGold

To my ears, Jeff and Tess aren't close enough to confuse.

The neighbor's kid's name wouldn't deter me.  You might move, they might move.  It would be a non-issue to me.

If the name Vessa is too close to Tessa for your husband, Vanessa should fall into that same category, IMO.


Anniversary  
01-28-2013 at 12:15 PM
plunderb
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-22-2010
Boston
36,685 Points
plunderb is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 7:44 PMSilver

Neither of those would be a dealbreaker for me, but it sounds like he's coming up with reasons to justify a general disliking. In my opinion, if those reasons disqualify Tess/Tessa, they would also disqualify Vanessa.

I'd move along down the list.

01-28-2013 at 12:15 PM
Helenahhan...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-20-2012
60,187 Points
Helenahhandbasket is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 11:52 AMSilver

Neither of those issues would deter me personally, but if your DH says it's off the table, it's off the table.

Would he consider Teresa, nn Tessa?


Married 11/23/07 BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12 Lilypie Second Birthday tickers 
01-28-2013 at 12:16 PM
BWC4747
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-07-2013
3,022 Points
BWC4747 is not online. Last active: 05-18-2013, 7:57 PMNewbie
neither would make me take Tessa off my list. Hopefully DH comes around.
 
01-28-2013 at 12:16 PM
Joy2611
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-02-2009
53,130 Points
Joy2611 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 7:01 PMGold

As for the kid's names being very close together in sound, I can give you a personal experience!  My name is Kim.  My dad's name is Jim.  When someone called, we'd often only hear the "-im" sound.  From context, it was always extremely obvious which one of us was needed.  

The phone rang at 7pm?  "-iiiiiiiiim!!  The phone is for you!  It's Kate!"  That was me.

Knock at the door on a Saturday?  "-iiiiim!  The repairman is here!"  That was definitely my Dad.

I can't remember a single time it was an issue.  I could often tell by tone who my mom wanted anyway.  Ha.

As for your neighbor?  I don't think it's fair to not choose a name because of someone who is in your life at that moment but will probably not be there for your entire life.  My parents gave up a name they loved for my sister because she was born near the same time as my dad's old friend.  He hasn't spoken to this old friend in about thirty years and I think my mom still laments not using  the name.

 
01-28-2013 at 12:17 PM
shellyco
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-16-2012
6,363 Points
shellyco is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 6:15 PMBronze

Neither of these things would concern me enough to not use it, but it sounds like YH isn't sold on it. Jeff and Tess have the same vowel sound but otherwise I don't thi

nk it would be that confusing. I absolutely wouldn't worry about the similar name of a neighbor girl who won't even be in the same year of school as your daughter.

 

 

 

 


TTC since July 2011 with MFI
BFP #1 12/12/11 CP 12/18/11
BFP #2 12/28/12 EDD 9/10/13
DH varicocele surgery 8/2/12
IUI #1: 50 mg Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI= Trigger hell/BFN
IUI #2 on anniversary of our loss: 50 mg Clomid + Estrogen + IUI= BFP
Beta #1: 37 Beta #2: 115 Beta #3: 2804
It's a girl! Increased NT- normal amnio test, A/S scheduled for 4/29
Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
Lilypie Maternity tickers 
01-28-2013 at 12:20 PM
RJM050705
Not Ranked
Joined on 09-05-2002
Seattle
15,902 Points
RJM050705 is online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 9:03 PMBronze
526SadieSadie:

To my ears, Jeff and Tess aren't close enough to confuse.

The neighbor's kid's name wouldn't deter me.  You might move, they might move.  It would be a non-issue to me.

If the name Vessa is too close to Tessa for your husband, Vanessa should fall into that same category, IMO.

Ditto all of this!  I like Tessa, it's cute! 


Rebecca :)

 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
01-28-2013 at 12:21 PM
Candace7p1...
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-25-2013
183 Points
Candace7p13 is not online. Last active: 01-30-2013, 9:46 AMNewbie
If you like and he can warm up to it then I say go for it. My name is Candace and I like the name Cadence but I can't get myself to name my baby a name that sounds so close to mine. But If it was my absolute favorite name, no I would not let that deter me! :D As it is not my favorite name it was quickly eliminated do to the similarity.   I do love the name Vanessa. But you may as well go with Tessa then. But the important part is that you both come to a mutual agreement on a name. I know a couple who 'decided' on a name (i forget the decided name) but when my girlfriend woke up from her c section and they brought her some kind of paper work on baby Brody she said "who?" LOL Her husband named their baby what he secretly wanted. OMG I would have been so upset. Anyway thought I'd share that somewhat humorous story :D Good luck
 
01-28-2013 at 12:25 PM
plunderb
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-22-2010
Boston
36,685 Points
plunderb is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 7:44 PMSilver

Candace7p13:
but when my girlfriend woke up from her c section and they brought her some kind of paper work on baby Brody she said "who?" LOL Her husband named their baby what he secretly wanted. OMG I would have been so upset. Anyway thought I'd share that somewhat humorous story :D Good luck

That crossed right over from "disrespectful a$$" and into "controlling abuser" territory. Here's hoping they get all the names right on the divorce papers.

01-28-2013 at 12:34 PM
kmichln
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-04-2012
8,828 Points
kmichln is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 6:48 PMBronze
526SadieSadie:

To my ears, Jeff and Tess aren't close enough to confuse.

The neighbor's kid's name wouldn't deter me.  You might move, they might move.  It would be a non-issue to me.

If the name Vessa is too close to Tessa for your husband, Vanessa should fall into that same category, IMO.

All of this. I think Tessa is just fine.  


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers Daisypath Anniversary tickers 
01-28-2013 at 12:41 PM
MelRC117
Not Ranked
Joined on 02-27-2012
73,397 Points
MelRC117 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 7:44 PMSilver
plunderb:

Neither of those would be a dealbreaker for me, but it sounds like he's coming up with reasons to justify a general disliking. In my opinion, if those reasons disqualify Tess/Tessa, they would also disqualify Vanessa.

I'd move along down the list.

This.  I don't worry about Tess and Jeff sounding too close...I half the time say the wrong name anyways.  I don't know how many times I've called LO the cat's name. 


Image and video hosting by TinyPic  Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
01-28-2013 at 12:42 PM
Idani
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-05-2012
35,036 Points
Idani is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 8:32 AMSilver
Helenahhandbasket:

Neither of those issues would deter me personally, but if your DH says it's off the table, it's off the table.

Would he consider Teresa, nn Tessa?

I agree with all of this.


 
01-28-2013 at 12:47 PM
HatchetFac...
Not Ranked
Joined on 12-14-2012
26,256 Points
HatchetFace is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 8:42 PMBronze
plunderb:

Neither of those would be a dealbreaker for me, but it sounds like he's coming up with reasons to justify a general disliking. In my opinion, if those reasons disqualify Tess/Tessa, they would also disqualify Vanessa.

I'd move along down the list.

This.  



Me-27 DH-25
Married since January '12, TTA until late September '13
Bloggy Blog
 
01-28-2013 at 1:00 PM
chapski
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-29-2009
michigan
45,483 Points
chapski is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 8:12 PMGold
526SadieSadie:

To my ears, Jeff and Tess aren't close enough to confuse.

The neighbor's kid's name wouldn't deter me.  You might move, they might move.  It would be a non-issue to me.

If the name Vessa is too close to Tessa for your husband, Vanessa should fall into that same category, IMO.

this (especially bold)

 
01-28-2013 at 1:08 PM
PepVeroni
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-31-2009
5,488 Points
PepVeroni is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 4:22 PMNewbie
plunderb:

Neither of those would be a dealbreaker for me, but it sounds like he's coming up with reasons to justify a general disliking. In my opinion, if those reasons disqualify Tess/Tessa, they would also disqualify Vanessa.

I'd move along down the list.

Yeah, I'm wondering if those are just coverups and he doesn't want to admit he just plain old doesn't like Tessa. 


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  Pregnancy Ticker 
01-28-2013 at 1:10 PM
PepVeroni
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-31-2009
5,488 Points
PepVeroni is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 4:22 PMNewbie
Joy2611:

As for the kid's names being very close together in sound, I can give you a personal experience!  My name is Kim.  My dad's name is Jim.  When someone called, we'd often only hear the "-im" sound.  From context, it was always extremely obvious which one of us was needed.  

The phone rang at 7pm?  "-iiiiiiiiim!!  The phone is for you!  It's Kate!"  That was me.

Knock at the door on a Saturday?  "-iiiiim!  The repairman is here!"  That was definitely my Dad.

I can't remember a single time it was an issue.  I could often tell by tone who my mom wanted anyway.  Ha.

As for your neighbor?  I don't think it's fair to not choose a name because of someone who is in your life at that moment but will probably not be there for your entire life.  My parents gave up a name they loved for my sister because she was born near the same time as my dad's old friend.  He hasn't spoken to this old friend in about thirty years and I think my mom still laments not using  the name.

That makes perfect sense!  (and I thought your name was Joy :).  I don't see the sound-alike thing as being an issue.  I'm seriously thinking he just didn't want to admit to me that he doesn't like Tessa. 


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  Pregnancy Ticker 
01-28-2013 at 1:11 PM
PepVeroni
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-31-2009
5,488 Points
PepVeroni is not online. Last active: 05-19-2013, 4:22 PMNewbie

Candace7p13:
If you like and he can warm up to it then I say go for it. My name is Candace and I like the name Cadence but I can't get myself to name my baby a name that sounds so close to mine. But If it was my absolute favorite name, no I would not let that deter me! :D As it is not my favorite name it was quickly eliminated do to the similarity.   I do love the name Vanessa. But you may as well go with Tessa then. But the important part is that you both come to a mutual agreement on a name. I know a couple who 'decided' on a name (i forget the decided name) but when my girlfriend woke up from her c section and they brought her some kind of paper work on baby Brody she said "who?" LOL Her husband named their baby what he secretly wanted. OMG I would have been so upset. Anyway thought I'd share that somewhat humorous story :D Good luck

Wow, that's a crazy story!  Hopefully it wasn't too late for them to have it changed?  That's a terrible thing to do if it's true! 


 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker  Pregnancy Ticker 
01-28-2013 at 1:23 PM
kayjay10
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-13-2010
NC
20,312 Points
kayjay10 is not online. Last active: 05-16-2013, 2:23 PMSilver
I don't have an issue with either.  Jeff and Tessa are not close IMO.  My name is Kelly and DD is Ella and while they both have the "ell" sound, we've never had a problem.  I don't put any stock in neighbor names.  They will probably not be your neighbors forever and most neighborhoods with small children will have rhyming names or even same names.

TTC since 11/2008 BFP 1/8/10...MC 1/15/10 BFP 3/20/10...MC 6/24/10 BFP 12/13/10...EDD 8/22/11...DD born 6/7/11 @ 29 weeks 1 day  Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
01-28-2013 at 2:04 PM
Court0026
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-08-2008
Central NY
12,510 Points
Court0026 is not online. Last active: 05-23-2013, 8:13 PMSilver
526SadieSadie:

To my ears, Jeff and Tess aren't close enough to confuse.

The neighbor's kid's name wouldn't deter me.  You might move, they might move.  It would be a non-issue to me.

If the name Vessa is too close to Tessa for your husband, Vanessa should fall into that same category, IMO.

All of this.


O is allergic to eggs (especially yolks), dairy, peanuts and tree nuts (+ cat allergy & asthma). DS (O) 10.08 DD (MJ) 6.10  
01-28-2013 at 3:39 PM
AnnieBN
Not Ranked
Joined on 10-19-2012
35,423 Points
AnnieBN is not online. Last active: 05-22-2013, 4:58 PMSilver
No, it wouldn't. Jeff and Tess don't sound that a like, and Vessa is just a neighbor. I still like Tessa MUCH more than Vanessa.


BFP #1 1.22.13 EDD 10.04.13 MMC at 8w5d
Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
BFP #2 4.23.13 EDD 1.3.14 Molar Pregnancy DX at 7w3d
 
01-28-2013 at 6:24 PM
TripMomma
Not Ranked
Joined on 05-09-2009
Portland, OR.
12,606 Points
TripMomma is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 8:38 PMGold
Nope, neither of those would have even entered my mind. I love Tessa...a million times more than Vanessa.
01-28-2013 at 6:30 PM
mjune3881
Not Ranked
Joined on 03-04-2008
Lake Zurich, IL
13,742 Points
mjune3881 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 3:50 PMBronze
Neither issue would deter me.  But my DH finds ways to make just about every name not acceptable!

 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Anniversary  
01-28-2013 at 7:15 PM
queenbone
Top 500 Contributor
Joined on 07-23-2004
Portland
57,039 Points
queenbone is not online. Last active: 05-24-2013, 4:24 PMGold

I don't see how Jeff and Tess sound similar other than sharing the same vowel.

I wouldn't worry about the neighbor.


Married 9-4-04

Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
TTC#3, AMA, DOR, FSH: 9.83, AMH: 0.31
Cycle #15: 75iu follistim +ovidrel +IUI= BFP!
1st beta: 200 @14dpIUI, 2nd beta:696.90 @17dpIUI
1st u/s (6w4d): one sac, saw & heard heartbeat 124 bpm; 2nd u/s (9w3d): 175bpm
Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

My 1890 Queen Anne Bio
My 1906 Bungalow Bio
Blog
 
01-28-2013 at 7:43 PM
Grace0609
Not Ranked
Joined on 04-30-2010
Wisconsin
46,956 Points
Grace0609 is not online. Last active: 05-25-2013, 8:02 PMGold
I would not second guess the name Tessa over either of those reasons.  But, if DH doesn't like it, obviously, that would be a deal breaker : (.  I love Tessa.


 BabyFruit Ticker
~ Noah - 2009 ~
~ Caleb - 2011 ~
~ Baby Boy #3 - Expected 4.27.13 ~
My BFP Chart
 
Hot Topics

New dad or dad-to-be? Chat with other dads here!
Visit the Dads & Dads-to-be board

Need baby shower inspiration? Get ideas here!
Visit the Baby Showers board

Chat with other crafty moms here!
Visit the Crafty Moms board

search boards

choose another board