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01-29-2013 at 12:18 PM
futuremidw...
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How accurate is the "6 month average"?

I need some encouragement.  This is not a post about having trouble TTC, but how accurate is the supposed "6 month average" when couples begin TTC?  My husband and I have been trying for 2 months at this point.  My issue is when I talk to people, and I mean dozens of friends and relatives, everyone falls into one of three categories:

The "Oh we got it on our very first try!" group

The "It was an accident/we weren't trying at all." group

And the "It took us well into 2 or more years and we had to do IVF." group

I literally know of no one that TTC for a few months without help and got pregnant, so I don't know where this "6 month average" comes from, except I guess when you combine 1 month with a year that's where 6 months comes from.  It's just starting to concern me slightly since we did not get it in our first couple tries.  The number of people I've come to know that have had to endure IVF and infertility is heartwrenching.  

Please don't treat this as a stupid, uninformed, question, because it isn't.  I've done my research.  Even here on thebump: <http://pregnant.thebump.com/getting-pregnant/fertility-ovulation/articles/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-pregnant.aspx>

Of the people listed here, so many say they got it on their first try if you read the comments, and the greatest percentage from the facebook poll says the first month also. The 6 month mark seems to be really low compared to the rest.  I guess I am just looking for some real-life examples of the "6 month average", because I don't know of any.
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01-29-2013 at 12:22 PM
madasm0530
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I have always heard the standard is: it can take a healthy couple up to a year to get KU. 
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01-29-2013 at 12:22 PM
classybrid...
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From my experience I know it can take time. It took me 8 months with my first but only 3 with my second. There were also two chemical pregnancies in that time frame. It honestly is normal for it to take up to a year...as much as you want it to be the first try! Hang in there...
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01-29-2013 at 12:23 PM
rmcgibbon
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Well I've always heard it can take a normal couple a year to conceive with no known fertility problems. Otherwise, I don't know much about the stats.

It took my best friend 4 months, another friend 6 months, and yet another 3 months to conceive, but you can't really compare yourself to your friends.

Charting and getting to know your body and your cycle are the best ways to help your chance of conceiving. Good luck!

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01-29-2013 at 12:24 PM
Kerri816
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I think if you asked first tri they might be more helpful because they are pregnant and can tell you how long it took.

ETA: I fall into the 2yr category for my DD. so thats not helpful sorry.

ETA again: I just re-read my comment and it looks kind of snarky but I didn't mean it like that, I just read your post as looking for real-life examples and thought that would be more helpful.  This is my last edit I swear.

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01-29-2013 at 12:30 PM
krptcmschf...
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We fell into the "we weren't trying" category with DD. This time around, we're working on month 7. If you're not properly timing sex, that can take a chunk out of your 20% chance each cycle to get pregnant. Are you doing any sort of charting of CM or BBT? If not, take a look at the newbie link, or FertilityFriend, and consider starting. Timing sex properly is a major key in getting a BFP. GL.

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01-29-2013 at 12:31 PM
calindi
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I have friends in all categories - honestly, I think some of the people who say it happened 'the first time' are lying.  I know of at least one friend who said it happened the first time they tried, when really it took them 5 months.  And I have a sister of a friend who swore it was a happy surprise, but my friend suspects her sister wasn't at all surprised - just her husband.

Don't give up hope, especially after 2 months!!!!  I'm just starting my 6th cycle of trying, and we've been off birth control since just about a year now, though we were trying to avoid for awhile.  I'm a little worried since we didn't try too hard to avoid, but I know so much more now - this month will be the first one we're using OPKs, so if after 4-5 months with OPKs I still haven't gotten anything, I'll probably ask for a referral to an RE as that would be 10 months of active trying and another 7 months of not trying, not preventing.



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01-29-2013 at 12:32 PM
Tamma254
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With my oldest, it was cycle 3. With my youngest, it was cycle 4, I'm at the tail-end of cycle 11 TTC #3.
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01-29-2013 at 12:38 PM
2Dash
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It took me three cycles with temping and OPKs to get pregnant with DS - that was following some really long cycles coming off BCP (like 76 days long) so it seemed like a long process to me.

Friends that I am open with have told me that when they were actively TTC (timed intercourse) it took between 2-6 months.  Some had miscarriages, some it took a year - one friend it took 2.5 years.

I think that while the "accidents" and "first try's" do happen - sometimes people just say that's how they concieved because they don't want to get into intimate details or they want people to think that it wasn't hard for them.
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01-29-2013 at 12:40 PM
shecodes
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I think it's accurate.  We probably hear more from people from the relative outliers because it deviates from the norm.   People who achieved it at 7 months know it's not all that unusual and therefore not a conversation starter.
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01-29-2013 at 12:42 PM
Bubsy2013
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I believed this since I had 2 friends say it took them 5-8months.  But for us it took 1 time, we were hoping for more on the 6th months end of things.  So now I have realized it really just depends on the person, so don't give up hope, everyone is different.  Best of luck :)
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01-29-2013 at 12:42 PM
peanut+mus...
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It took us 11 months to get our first BFP, which resulted in a miscarriage.


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01-29-2013 at 12:43 PM
Desmond&Mo...
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My first, we tried for 2 years before we got pregnant with help.

My second, we got pregnant on the first try (no help) and lost the baby at 10 and a half weeks (last March.)

We are just now trying for our third.  We're heading towards the end of our first cycle.  I would love to get pregnant on the first try this time around as well.  Wishful hoping.

 
 
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01-29-2013 at 1:06 PM
ayamw
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I agree with a PP that many of the "it just happened!" responses are more likely more than 1 month of trying, and they are just not willing to get into the details. 

To add - if you haven't watched the great sperm race - watch it. It was very informative and reinforces how important good timing is to conception (if you are not already charting/temping/etc)

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01-29-2013 at 1:08 PM
JulianneJa...
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ayamw:

I agree with a PP that many of the "it just happened!" responses are more likely more than 1 month of trying, and they are just not willing to get into the details. 

To add - if you haven't watched the great sperm race - watch it. It was very informative and reinforces how important good timing is to conception (if you are not already charting/temping/etc)

I think a lot of people hear that it can take up to a year and are suprised when it happens in one or two months. I know a lot of people who did get pregnant the first or second month of trying and I don't think they're lying I think that people that get pregnant quickly are more likely to blurt it out because they are surprised.
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01-29-2013 at 1:11 PM
CandaceMM
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calindi:

I have friends in all categories - honestly, I think some of the people who say it happened 'the first time' are lying.  I know of at least one friend who said it happened the first time they tried, when really it took them 5 months.  And I have a sister of a friend who swore it was a happy surprise, but my friend suspects her sister wasn't at all surprised - just her husband.

Don't give up hope, especially after 2 months!!!!  I'm just starting my 6th cycle of trying, and we've been off birth control since just about a year now, though we were trying to avoid for awhile.  I'm a little worried since we didn't try too hard to avoid, but I know so much more now - this month will be the first one we're using OPKs, so if after 4-5 months with OPKs I still haven't gotten anything, I'll probably ask for a referral to an RE as that would be 10 months of active trying and another 7 months of not trying, not preventing.

 

For us it really was the first try. I had been using opk's and charting CM for 3 months beforehand so that I could get a feel for my cycle. We weren't going to start TTC until September but on a whim one July night after a + opk, we decided to try. As well as the next night. 2 weeks later we got a +hpt. I literally didn't believe it for the first 2 days! Sadly, it wound up being tubal. 

We were given the okay in Oct. and have been tying ever since. 

OP- It can take a healthy couple up to a year. Try not to get wrapped up in graphs and charts related to length of time. It will drive you crazy. Everyone is different. You could be part of the 99% or the 1%. GL! 

Started TTC 7/12 BFP on 7/27/12. Suspected Miscarriage on 8/14/12 @ 6w1d. Betas checked and increasing every other day. EP found & removed from right tube on 9/7/12 @ 9w4d.
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01-29-2013 at 1:13 PM
lobosabby
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I conceived at 6 months and 9 months. Both resulted in miscarriages.

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01-29-2013 at 1:14 PM
kamirault7
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rmcgibbon:

Well I've always heard it can take a normal couple a year to conceive with no known fertility problems. Otherwise, I don't know much about the stats.

It took my best friend 4 months, another friend 6 months, and yet another 3 months to conceive, but you can't really compare yourself to your friends.

Charting and getting to know your body and your cycle are the best ways to help your chance of conceiving. Good luck!

This, in bold.  Check out the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility for help on the charting process and understanding your body.  It could help you improve your timing while TTC.

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01-29-2013 at 1:27 PM
GhostMonke...
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futuremidwestmom:

The "Oh we got it on our very first try!" group

The "It was an accident/we weren't trying at all." group

And the "It took us well into 2 or more years and we had to do IVF." group

I literally know of no one that TTC for a few months without help and got pregnant, so I don't know where this "6 month average" comes from, except I guess when you combine 1 month with a year that's where 6 months comes from.  It's just starting to concern me slightly since we did not get it in our first couple tries.  The number of people I've come to know that have had to endure IVF and infertility is heartwrenching.  

Please don't treat this as a stupid, uninformed, question, because it isn't.  I've done my research.  Even here on thebump: <http://pregnant.thebump.com/getting-pregnant/fertility-ovulation/articles/how-long-does-it-take-to-get-pregnant.aspx>

You have clearly not done any research outside of that one article if you don't see where that stat comes from. It comes from a compilation of data over many, many years. It is a medical standard.

Statistically most couples get pregnant in the first 6 months. The Bump article actually breaks that down in 2 different ways. What more do you want?

PS- don't read the crap the Bump puts out for articles. They're, well, crap.

 

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01-29-2013 at 1:34 PM
futuremidw...
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You have clearly not done any research outside of that one article if you don't see where that stat comes from. It comes from a compilation of data over many, many years. It is a medical standard.

I really didn't need the negativity.  I have done plenty of research on multiple websites and books for over a year, more than I could list.  You totally missed my point.  Yes, that is what all the research SAYS, but my point is that no one I KNOW says the same thing.  I'm talking real life examples.
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01-29-2013 at 1:39 PM
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futuremidwestmom:

You have clearly not done any research outside of that one article if you don't see where that stat comes from. It comes from a compilation of data over many, many years. It is a medical standard.

I really didn't need the negativity.  I have done plenty of research on multiple websites and books for over a year, more than I could list.  You totally missed my point.  Yes, that is what all the research SAYS, but my point is that no one I KNOW says the same thing.  I'm talking real life examples.

Maybe because it is none of your business and you need to butt out of their bedroom.

 

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01-29-2013 at 1:43 PM
MeatandBan...
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GhostMonkey:
futuremidwestmom:

You have clearly not done any research outside of that one article if you don't see where that stat comes from. It comes from a compilation of data over many, many years. It is a medical standard.

I really didn't need the negativity.  I have done plenty of research on multiple websites and books for over a year, more than I could list.  You totally missed my point.  Yes, that is what all the research SAYS, but my point is that no one I KNOW says the same thing.  I'm talking real life examples.

Maybe because it is none of your business and you need to butt out of their bedroom.

 

Yup exactly. I have a few close friends (3) who know we are ttc. When other friends ask when we are going to start trying I tell them around April. I don't want the pressure of a lot of people knowing we are ttc'ing. This might be part of why your data is skewed. I think a lot of people do this. 

 
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01-29-2013 at 1:52 PM
LoveActual...
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I have friends all over the spectrum, one it took 9 months, another is still trying after 12 years.  Everyone's journey is different,  I take those averages with a grain of salt.
 
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01-29-2013 at 1:57 PM
BethK22
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We just hit a year and no luck yet.
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01-29-2013 at 2:10 PM
barcelonag...
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calindi:

I have friends in all categories - honestly, I think some of the people who say it happened 'the first time' are lying

Truth.

One of my "good friends" told me she got knocked up while on vacay.  One of those "Just relax and drink lot's of wine BFPs"  Turns out she had been trying for months.  I only found out because her husband blabbed to mine, who is also a blabbermouth ;)
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01-29-2013 at 2:15 PM
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krptcmschfmkr128:
We fell into the "we weren't trying" category with DD. This time around, we're working on month 7.

This, except I've just started my 6th month
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01-29-2013 at 2:24 PM
bdipaolo86
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Our first daughter was conceived just from missing a couple BCP. With our second daughter I stopped BCP in October and found out I was pregnant in January, so 4 months. And then with our third daughter I had my Mirena removed in December and found out I was pregnant at the end of that June, so 7 months. Now this time around I stopped taking BCP pills in July or August and we weren't really trying but not preventing. Now this is the third cycle we are really trying (OPKs & tracking CM). If we don't get pregnant this month I'm going to start temping too. I know it's frustrating even if it's just a couple months. Those BFNs suck!
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01-29-2013 at 3:17 PM
MJHershey
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I am probably on the "fertile" end I suppose... took 4 months for DS and 2 months for this one. I temped and used OPK's for this one, though so that may have helped with better timing. But I know many who took well longer than 1 year and had IF to go through.

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01-29-2013 at 3:39 PM
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futuremidwestmom:

You have clearly not done any research outside of that one article if you don't see where that stat comes from. It comes from a compilation of data over many, many years. It is a medical standard.

I really didn't need the negativity.  I have done plenty of research on multiple websites and books for over a year, more than I could list.  You totally missed my point.  Yes, that is what all the research SAYS, but my point is that no one I KNOW says the same thing.  I'm talking real life examples.

Um.  She wasnt negative.  Read it again.  So I have dogs.  All my friends have dogs.  Only 1 person I know IRL has a cat.  Does that mean that the data is wrong that says there are the same amount of dog owners as there are cat owners in America?  Don't think so.  You can't look only at your friends when you're talking about national statistics.
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01-29-2013 at 3:56 PM
futuremidw...
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Was I wrong in thinking this site and these boards were places to come for supportive, encouraging comments from people at the same point in life? TTC and parenthood are extremely sensitive topics and I thought that mindset would be present here, but after reading a number of posts and posting my own, I'm beginning to rethink that.  I don't think it was expecting too much by asking for encouragement during a stressful time, but apparently for some "misery loves company."  I do appreciate the supportive, helpful comments thus far.
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