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01-29-2013 at 1:10 PM
Carolina B...
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Carolina Blue Skies is not online. Last active: 05-17-2013, 1:09 PMNewbie

Are you sick of lying to friends?

I figured that I spent over 1/4 (3 months) of 2012 not drinking/exercising due to transfers & 2 wws, etc.  During those times, I end up avoiding my friends so I don't have to lie about why I can't run with them or can't enjoy a glass of wine with dinner.  I haven't told many friends, so most don't know.  There have been times when I have been with friends during these times and given a zillion reasons why I am not doing such things - like having been sick, drank too much the night before, on meds, etc.  I am just so done with all of this.

I could tell them, but I don't really want to tell more people than we've already shared it with.

Two different friends want to get together this Saturday, and I am considering turning them both down.  I am sick of lying - and honestly, my instincts tell me this cycle was a bust, so even being around people drinking and having a good time when I feel like crap...well, just doesn't sound like fun.  Poor DH - I know he is probably hoping for the distraction.

Just a vent, I guess.


My TTC Journey:
Dx: Hypothalamic amenorrhea
Progesterone to induce period w/ the goal of Clomid - never got period (September 2011). RE referral.
Femera - never responded to the meds (December 2011)
Clomid with TI - BFN (February 2012)
Injectables (Menopur) - hyperstimulated/canceled (March 2012)
Injectables #2 (Menopur) with TI- BFN (May 2012)
IVF - OHSS (transfer canceled), but 11 frozen! (June 1012)
FET - 1 transferred on 8/09/12. Beta#1 (11dp5dt): 350.3; Beta#2: 365; Beta#3: 157. Biochemical pregnancy.
FET # 2 - 1 transferred on 11/01/12. Beta#1 (11dp5dt): 337; Beta#2: 769. BFP!!! 1st ultrasound 11/28/12 showed heartbeat, but measuring 5 days behind. 2nd ultrasound 12/05/12 - miscarriage.
FET # 3 - 1 transferred on 1/24/13. Beta#1 (11dp5dt): BFN.
FET # 4 - 2 transferred on 3/28/13. Beta #1 (11dp5dt): 673; Beta #2: 1265. Just under 6 weeks - m/c at home. WTF appointment in late May.

 
01-29-2013 at 1:22 PM
J&D2007
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Joined on 02-22-2007
19,831 Points
J&D2007 is not online. Last active: 04-28-2013, 8:12 AMBronze
Yes, I feel the same way. We've been trying for 4 years or so and it seems like every single time we get together I have to be so sneaky and I'm just so tired of it, too. I've used every excuse in the book. I've cancelled several events at the last minute because of a m/c, an appt., etc, etc.. I feel like a jerk and I'm so tired of trying to think of excuses, trying to make my club soda look like a drink, sneaking O'Douls into a hidden glass, avoiding many fun things that I have always loved.  


Me: 35, DH: 36, ttc: 3+ years, dx: unknown
10/11: after 2 years, saw a RE, FSH 5.4
11/11: BFP! (surprise after thyroid med & normal hsg),
12/11: missed m/c after 7 week u/s,
1/12: D&C,
6/12 IUI #1: clomid, 5 mature follicles, excellent sperm,= BFN,
7/12: IUI #2: clomid, 3 mature follicles, excellent sperm= BFN,
8/12: IUi #3: clomid, 5 follicles, = BFP!, C/P
10/12 IVF #1: FSH 5.4, estradiol AFC: 14, long Lupron 150/bravelle75,5R/5M/4F, all 4 made it to 5dt, 1 blast and 1 8 cell transferred. No frosties. BFN
IVF #2: AFC 21, MD lupron 12/25, 225bravelle/150men, 4R/4M/3F, 5dt of 1 blast BFN
IVF #3: natural start antagon, starting 3/30, ER 4/11, 12R,11M,10F
.
[IMG]http://i248.photobucket.com/albums/gg174/pixydust3084/April_V2.jpg%5B/IMG] 
01-29-2013 at 1:43 PM
melkel559
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Joined on 07-17-2008
18,700 Points
melkel559 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 7:10 PMBronze
Ugh yeah the lying didn't work for me unfortunately. We have a pretty big group of friends who get together for a lot of things. I eventually told one of my closest girlfriends because I knew she was suspicious anyway, I was saying no to all of the things DH and I usually go to. Soooo..turns out that when I replied to an email chain saying we weren't making it to New Year's this year (because we were still devastated by the BFN), she said she got flooded with emails and texts from our friends suspecting I was pregnant. So she told one of our other close girlfriends about our struggles so that she wouldn't ask me if I was PG. She thought that would be better. Except it ended up blowing up in her face because that girl told her boyfriend, who told someone else, etc. I was furious at first but she apologized and they all have been very supportive since. I am now telling NONE of them about the dIUI. I can't deal with all of the questions, good luck texts, etc. We'll see how that goes ugh. IF SUCKS!

TTC since June 2011
DX: DH (30) severe MFI, severely low count & low motility
Me (32): all clear
Appt with Urologist 5/21/12: exam, ultrasound, bloodwork all normal.
Testicular Biopsy with TESE on 6/8/12. good sperm found! (left side only) froze sperm, failed thaw test :(
Orientation for IVF/ICSI on 6/13/12. Waiting for the green light following biopsy results...results show adequate sperm production both sides.
2nd SA 6/18/12: sample is "adequate for ICSI"
Plan: IVF/ICSI July 2012!
ER: 7/26/12. 15 eggs retrieved, all mature.
TESE/TESA/aspiration from epididymis, no motile sperm found :(
froze all eggs, the saga of praying for good sperm continues.
8/3/12: 2nd opinion from MFI uro on biopsy slides. Suspects "partial late maturation arrest."
Plan: more SAs, third biopsy/TESE with frozen back-up either from DH or DS.
SA 8/17/12: Zero sperm
SA 8/23/12: Zero sperm
9/26/12: SPERM FOUND! 15 eggs thawed, 12 survived and were ICSI'd, only 3 fertilized normally. Refrozen as embies and will thaw in Nov. Please survive and grow!
All 3 survived the thaw on 11/15/12!
FET 11/17/12: transferred 2, one 4B, one 4C. Beta 11/30:BFFN
moving on to DS
DIUI#1 2/18/13,50mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta 3/4/13: BFN.
DIUI#2 3/19/13, 50 mg Clomid cd 3-7, Ovidrel trigger, Beta #1 (14dpiui) 4/2/13: BFP!!!! 150. Beta #2 4/4/13: 420 Beta #3 4/8/13: 2691. Beta #4 4/15/13: 15,086
1st u/s 4/8/13 shows one gestational sac
2nd u/s 4/15/13 shows yolk sac, fetal pole and early heartbeat
3rd u/s 4/25/13: measuring right on track. Heart rate 148 bpm
PAIF & SAIF always welcome
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 BabyFruit Ticker 
01-29-2013 at 1:55 PM
JewelsW198...
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Joined on 04-27-2008
Central Virginia
19,920 Points
JewelsW1980 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 3:22 PMBronze
Yep! People know our story but I'm refusing to tell all of them we're cycling again this time.

I told a small handful of people this time and zero family members and we've been asked by family when we think we'll move forward ooooh weekly and I lie and say soon, but not yet. I hate lying straight to their faces because I feel like people can read right through me.

Last time everyone in our immediate lives knew we were cycling, then pregnant and then I had to tell everyone we lost the pregnancy. That was rough!!!

* Me- 32 * DH- 32 * TTC for 4 Years
* *IUIs 1-6 BFN*
*IVF #1= BFP- M/C *FET- * *Beta#1: 69 *Beta#2:482 *Beta#3 1088
*Beta#4 28,318 * Ultrasound- 1 beautiful heartbeat
IT'S A BOY!!! MAX LIAM
 
01-29-2013 at 2:04 PM
solisilou
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Joined on 12-11-2012
14,959 Points
solisilou is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 5:17 PMBronze
I know what you mean. My ILs are coming to stay with us for a few days and I've been running around the house looking for TTC or IF giveaways. I feel like a nutcase. I had to hide all sorts of vitamins, OPKs, HPTs, baby aspirin, syringes, needles... DH and I already discussed about his excuse for drinking non-alcoholic beer... I feel it's not fair that we have to bend backwards so that people don't find out stuff that doesn't concern them anyway.

Me 32 / DH 36
TTC since 08/2010
Me: Lap in 2007 due to pelvic pain: Dx mild endo
Lap in 2011: ovarian cyst and endo removal
2 Clomid cycles: good response but both BFN
borderline high anti-cardiolipin IgM Abs - now on baby aspirin
DH: S/A low all three - unexplained

IVF/ICSI #1: 06/2012 11R/11M/9F 2dt of one 4-cell embie - BFP,
beta hell, U/S hell, m/c and D&C at 9w6d
FET #1: 10/2012 3dt of one 10-cell embie - BFN
FET #2: 11/2012 2dt of one 2-cell embie - BFN
FET #3: 01/2013 3dt of one 6-cell embie - BFN
IVF/ICSI #2: 02/2013 14R/13M/7F 5dt of one blast 2/16 - BFP,
beta hell, m/c at 5w3d
FET #4: 04/2013 5dt of 2 morulas - BFN
FET #5: 05/2013


 
01-29-2013 at 4:40 PM
Ecarabeo21...
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11,304 Points
Ecarabeo217 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 6:01 PMBronze
YES!!! I have told NOONE...I mean, not my family not my friends....I only told my partner because of my need for canceling works suddenly and coming in late for monitoring. Other than that, zilch! I'm always either on antibiotics for dental work or something. Mostly, I avoid. I also make sure all my stashes are well hidden as people come over. It's awful. I had to stop going to Pilates with my cousin last year for IVF 1 because I was sooo bloated and was afraid of doing crazy things to my plump ovaries...I told her I had an ovarian cyst and left it at that. 

Married 2007 3 Clomid IUIs -- BFNs IVF #1 never made it to transfer On "egg health" cocktail DHEA/CoQ10/FRC/Pregnitude/Melatonin Starting IVF #2 for Feb 2013 Follistim/Menopur/Ganirelix Cancelled mid-cycle due to high P4 levels early on. OCPs again for IVF 2.5 mid-March. "You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it." -- Margaret Thatcher  
01-29-2013 at 5:42 PM
vegasbound...
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Joined on 04-16-2007
Hattiesburg MS
10,716 Points
vegasbound0606 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 10:04 PMBronze
Ditto to everything everyone has said. I've only told one friend about moving to IVF. I didn't want to, but we she's been calling since the new year started with all these diet ideas, let's be exercise buddies, blah, blah, blah. I have shut her down on everything. So rather than lie anymore, I just told her. I really wanted this to be a private thing..but. I also told her that I wouldn't be discussing any details with her and if I were to get a BFP, she'll find out in 3 months like everyone else does or if I decide that we've come to the end of our chapter, I'll let her know. It's just too hard to have people tell you do do this, try that, and have people asking you if it's worked incessantly. 

Me:40 DH: 43 m/c #1 4/8/08 @ 5w::natural
m/c #2 missed m/c discovered 12/11/08 @ 8w3d :: d&c 12/15/08
Feb 2009-began seeing an RE:: DX with unexplained IF
Sept 2009 -2010 TTC using femara ...eventually work called me out of town.
June 2011 DX with thyroid cancer-forced to put baby making on hold
11/15/12 IUI #1 BFN and 12/15/12 IUI #2 BFN
2/2013 IVF-BFN FET set for April 2013
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01-29-2013 at 6:59 PM
daiseydood...
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Joined on 04-28-2012
8,431 Points
daiseydooda is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 10:30 AMBronze

Agree. My new lie is , my new years resolution is to quit drinking and get healthier. Which runs into issues of the gym partner thing. During 2ww no gym and while I am on these estrogen patches I cannot go into the sauna or the steam room which leads to more lies. I hate that every get-together revolves around drinking.

Edit typo:


TTC since 9/10 consult 1/12 All testing came back fine Diagnosed with Unexplained infertility All treatments OOP 3 medicated IUI's All BFN IVF - ER 11/14 24R, 15M, 13F ET 11/19, BETA 11/28 BFFN --Next step FET in Jan ET scheduled for 1/24. Beta #1 350 Beta #2 735. U/S Hell. miscarriage D&C at 9weeks. FET #2 ET 5/28 Beta 6/6. Everyone welcome Image and video hosting by TinyPic  
01-29-2013 at 7:51 PM
msechick
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Joined on 01-13-2002
1,086 Points
msechick is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 10:52 PMNewbie
Absolutely!  I plan to use lent pretty soon as my excuse.  My latest lying issue is dealing with how to delay the ordering of my bridesmaid dress for my brother's wedding until I find out if IVF works.  The bride is probably going to kill me.  

TTC#1 - Stopped BCP in 2007.
IUI#1 and #2 in 2008 with no luck.
Break from treatments for sanity.
IUI #3 in 2011 and IUI #4 in 2012 with no luck.
Break from treatments for sanity.
Starting IVF in March for 1st cycle.
BFP! Due date 12/11/13!

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 IAmPregnant Ticker
 
01-29-2013 at 8:21 PM
NYCGal276
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Joined on 01-09-2013
7,279 Points
NYCGal276 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 9:02 PMNewbie
GREAT topic!  I feel ya, girl.  Some of my closest friends know my deal, but we have lots of friends and family we've told NOTHING to and the constant <Terribly thick Jewish NY accent> "Soooo.... When are ya gonna have kids?" is like nails on a chalkboard.  I definitely feel like I'm leading a double life.  

TTC#1
Dx PCOS @ 16y.o
9/2011: unplanned natural conception and MC @ 6weeks (sac never seen)
12/2012: Cycle 1: TI & 2000MG Metformin & 100MG Clomid = CP
Functional Cyst - fixed with 2wks BCP
1/31/13: Cycle 2: IUI #1 & 2000MG Metformin, 100MG Clomid, HSG/Trigger, Provera 400mg 2DPIUI = MC @ 7w4d
Cycle 3: Lady In Waiting! Planning for IUI
PAIF/SAIF Welcome! You girls give me HOPE! <3
Herbal Supplements: 1800mg NAC, Fish Oil, Vitamin D, Baby Asprin, Folguard, Multivitamin  
01-29-2013 at 8:42 PM
slstine19
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Joined on 02-28-2011
1,221 Points
slstine19 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 5:47 PMNewbie
Totally understand what you are going through.  I finally got tired of one of DH's friends asking us when we were going to have kids.  So, I finally just said we can't.  I thought it would shut him up.  MIL was the same way.  I finally told DH that he had to tell her.  So, he did it in the clubhouse at the golf course with others around.  Seriously.  She felt so bad, but quit asking questions.
 
02-01-2013 at 10:28 AM
shell3879
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Joined on 07-15-2010
6,628 Points
shell3879 is not online. Last active: 05-20-2013, 3:33 PMNewbie
Yeah.  I've been honest with some friends, but others I just dont want to hang around while going through all of this.  It's so hard to plan things in advance and trying to hide drinking, etc. 

Me: 33 DH: 39 Removed ovarian cysts in Mar 2010 & removed left ovary in May 2010 TTC since Oct 2011 Sep 2012 IUI #1 Natural cycle BFN Sep 2012 IUI #2 Natural cycle BFN Oct 2012 IUI #3 Natural cycle BFN Nov 2012 removed uterine polyp Feb 2013 IVF #1 blighted ovum. Begin Lupron 5/14 for IVF #2  
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