I just don't feel the outrage.
Based on the responses you received on this thread, I can't help but wonder if people actually read what you wrote or prefer to jump on the "burn her at the stake" bandwagon.
Eh. I read it. I don't think she should be burned at the stake, but obviously OP doesn't have the rapport with this doctor that should be there when you are trusting someone to care for you and your baby.
It could be completely an issue of incompatible personalities, and this doctor would be beloved by another patient. That's fine. All that matters, at the end of the day, is that the OP isn't comfortable with the OB. For whatever the reason, logical or not.
OP - I agree with the above advice. You are going to have to weigh how important VBAC is to you if it means remaining in this doctor's care. Is there no other provider, even perhaps a distance away, that is willing to try VBAC?
My worry is this: If you go into a vaginal delivery already not trusting the doctor - and perhaps with the doctor already believing you will challenge her on her choices and actions - that is not a great recipe for a successful VBAC. I worry you won't believe her if she feels it's time to move to a c/s (should that situation arise) or that she won't listen to you and honor what your wishes throughout the process.
You need to decide if you can work with her, and she with you, because otherwise I feel like you're not going to have the experience you're hoping for anyway, even if she is willing to try the VBAC.
I'd look for another doctor, and hopefully there is someone near enough to you, that takes your insurance, who is willing to try the VBAC. If not, decide if a c/s is really that bad if it means not seeing this OB any longer. I don't know the circumstances of your first c/s - mine have both been scheduled, and I will tell you that c/s without labor beforehand is - as I understand it - a different experience all together. Mine were great, recovery very easy.