What about a pap smear is difficult for you? They used to be difficult for me, and still are to a point. But I really don't equate pap smear with giving birth, except that your doctor will be up in your business quite a bit, and that is always awkward to me.
My best advice is to find a provider with whom you are comfortable - whether that is an OB or a midwife or a doula, you need to have someone there who will help you feel comfortable. Honestly, one reason I hated pap smears for so long is because my gyno creeped me out. I never realized how much he creeped me out until I went to a different doctor - the best doctor I ever had, actually. Unfortunately, I only saw her once since we're military and we move alot. That was enough to convince me that a good doctor makes a big difference. You need to be able to trust your doctor/midwife. If you're uncomfortable with the provider you are seeing now, start looking for a new one ASAP.
Also, stop watching birth videos. Learn about birth - what happens, what types of meds are used, what types of interventions are used so that you can be informed, but just stop watching the videos if they are causing more harm than good.