Get The Bump digital magazine >

tools: My Baby Calendar | Baby Namer | Gender Chart | How Big is Baby?

community

all boards


birth clubs


nest boards


my blog

my photos

my boards


200+ Easy Weeknight Meals!

Green living: Eco-friendly tips & tricks!

< Previous topic | Next topic >

All Boards > Babies: 9 - 12 Months

Sort:
02-24-2013 at 8:25 AM
addam&tara
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-05-2011
253 Posts
1,778 Points
addam&tara is not online. Last active: 06-14-2013, 9:46 PMNewbie

Vent-Perspective & Semi-long.

My totally amazing babysitter, Jan, was offered a job at a daycare and started two weeks ago. She did not give me any notice.  They offered her the job, and the next day to start... so just one day, from then on, I've had no babysitter.  

I am happy for her but I'm also pretty angry about this too.  I know I probably shouldn't be, but I am!  She was wonderful with my LO, and was part of the family. 

I am scouring care.com and friends of mine for someone to babysit, but this process is slow going.  The daycares here are pretty disgusting with a year long wait!  

My LO has been out-of-sorts lately and I think it's because she senses the change and that Jan is not here.  Her eating, sleep, nap, etc have all been turned upside down!  It's driving me mad!  For the passed 3 days she has only eaten blueberries.  UGH! lol

Ok, so my question.... would you keep in touch with this babysitter?  I have a few concerns...

  1.)  Will this cause my LO to think she is coming back and ruin her schedule/routine again?   

  2.)  I'm angry, and personally just want to cut ties because I'm hurt and frustrated.  Would you?  

I'm totally sensitive about this situation... so I ask that you just provide any advice, insight, encouragement.  I am so upset about this situation,... I probably cry about it every other day!  So lame, I know! But I'm so pist and upset!  It took almost 2-3 months the first time to find a sitter  !!  
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
02-24-2013 at 8:38 AM
Jessica+Pe...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-26-2012
35 Posts
537 Points
Jessica+Penny is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 10:06 PMNewbie
I can't believe you are trying to hunt her down and kill her! NO NOTICE? She put you in an incredible spot and basically f'ed you and your daughter. I would very much cut ties with her. She did that with you pretty easily!
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
02-24-2013 at 8:41 AM
tjkdlhb
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-11-2012
3,325 Posts
29,363 Points
tjkdlhb is not online. Last active: 06-09-2013, 8:16 AMSilver
Why would you keep ties with her?
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
02-24-2013 at 9:05 AM
addam&tara
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-05-2011
253 Posts
1,778 Points
addam&tara is not online. Last active: 06-14-2013, 9:46 PMNewbie

tjkdlhb:
Why would you keep ties with her?

 Good Question... I think it hurts so badly because she had become part of our family.  She would come with us just to run errands sometimes if she was just hanging out at home.  Her husband, me, my husband, and Addison would go out to dinner about once every two weeks.  Even her husband had watched my LO for me once when she was sick! 

Maybe I just can't believe she chose this disgusting daycare over us?  

I definitely pay more but can't give her 38 hours per week.  She had about 20 hours per week here, but I paid more per hour.  

I feel like I've lost, not just a babysitter, but a friend... a family member.  Maybe that's my problem.  

 
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
02-24-2013 at 10:16 AM
namcgee
Not Ranked
Joined on 04-26-2009
PA
1,114 Posts
6,021 Points
namcgee is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 1:29 AMBronze
addam&tara:

tjkdlhb:
Why would you keep ties with her?

 Good Question... I think it hurts so badly because she had become part of our family.  She would come with us just to run errands sometimes if she was just hanging out at home.  Her husband, me, my husband, and Addison would go out to dinner about once every two weeks.  Even her husband had watched my LO for me once when she was sick! 

Maybe I just can't believe she chose this disgusting daycare over us?  

I definitely pay more but can't give her 38 hours per week.  She had about 20 hours per week here, but I paid more per hour.  

I feel like I've lost, not just a babysitter, but a friend... a family member.  Maybe that's my problem.  

 

Looks like it's time to move on, and you are grieving a little because you saw her as a friend and someone you trusted, but it seems like you may have placed more value on the "relationship" than she did.  A good "friend" would give more notice and explained that she really needed the extra money or whatever the situation might be.  A good employee would at least give a little more notice if they wanted to stay in good graces (because you might, afterall, need a babysitter on the weekend once in awhile even if she is working weekdays at a daycare).  It sounds like she took good care of your LO while she was with you, but for whatever reason, she is breaking ties.
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Lilypie First Birthday tickers 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
02-24-2013 at 10:59 AM
tjkdlhb
Not Ranked
Joined on 01-11-2012
3,325 Posts
29,363 Points
tjkdlhb is not online. Last active: 06-09-2013, 8:16 AMSilver
namcgee:
addam&tara:

tjkdlhb:
Why would you keep ties with her?

 Good Question... I think it hurts so badly because she had become part of our family.  She would come with us just to run errands sometimes if she was just hanging out at home.  Her husband, me, my husband, and Addison would go out to dinner about once every two weeks.  Even her husband had watched my LO for me once when she was sick! 

Maybe I just can't believe she chose this disgusting daycare over us?  

I definitely pay more but can't give her 38 hours per week.  She had about 20 hours per week here, but I paid more per hour.  

I feel like I've lost, not just a babysitter, but a friend... a family member.  Maybe that's my problem.  

Looks like it's time to move on, and you are grieving a little because you saw her as a friend and someone you trusted, but it seems like you may have placed more value on the "relationship" than she did.  A good "friend" would give more notice and explained that she really needed the extra money or whatever the situation might be.  A good employee would at least give a little more notice if they wanted to stay in good graces (because you might, afterall, need a babysitter on the weekend once in awhile even if she is working weekdays at a daycare).  It sounds like she took good care of your LO while she was with you, but for whatever reason, she is breaking ties.

This.  I am sorry that you are having to deal with it. 

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
02-24-2013 at 1:10 PM
oliversmom...
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-25-2012
1,543 Posts
18,059 Points
oliversmommy32912 is not online. Last active: 06-18-2013, 10:37 PMBronze

What a horrible situation. I'm so sorry! I can't believe she wouldn't even give you a notice. That's not only unprofessional, it is also a shitty thing to do as a person. It's not like she was working for some big-wig corporation where she could be easily replaced. It sounds like she was a member of your family. I would be so hurt.

Honestly if I were you I would just cut ties. Not only does she no longer work for you, but this is also a major breech of trust and friendship in my eyes. Your LO will probably have a little bit of a rough transition with all of the changes but kids are so resilient.

So sorry!

Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
02-24-2013 at 4:20 PM
Cheerio B
Not Ranked
Joined on 08-24-2008
Missouri
1,383 Posts
7,119 Points
Cheerio B is not online. Last active: 06-15-2013, 2:06 PMBronze
I would cut ties and move on. She put you in an awful position and it seems clear that she didn't value the relationship like you did.
Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
02-25-2013 at 6:38 AM
SteelCity4...
Not Ranked
Joined on 07-01-2011
4,591 Posts
47,888 Points
SteelCity44 is not online. Last active: 05-10-2013, 6:51 PMSilver
Cut ties and move on with life. While it was a terribly crappy thing for her to do to you, she was looking out for herself. Even if you were paying her more, you weren't taking taxes, SS, etc out of her pay, which means she had to set it all aside (if she's going to follow tax laws and report all of her income). The nightmare that being "self employed" and the taxes and penalties involved in that are well worth a pay cut.

Micah Leonard
Lilypie Premature Baby tickers 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
02-26-2013 at 5:27 PM
Lilygrace4...
Not Ranked
Joined on 06-30-2010
863 Posts
1,623 Points
Lilygrace48 is not online. Last active: 06-16-2013, 7:21 PMBronze
First, I can completely understand why you are so upset.  Not only your babysitter give you no notice, but your friend hurt your feelings.  If you're this upset, it seems like you do care a lot about her.  I would maybe wait a little while, until you're calmer, and then continue seeing them as friends if that's what they've become.  I don't think it will mess your daughter up to see her again, it will just teach her that situations change and that people do come back sometimes after they've left.  Also, just because she can't babysit on a regular basis like before doesn't mean she won't be willing to do a night here and there for you and your husband.  I wouldn't do anything rash until you're a little calmer (though again, totally understand why you're so upset).  Good luck!
 
Report Abuse
Reply
Quote
Hot Topics

New dad or dad-to-be? Chat with other dads here!
Visit the Dads & Dads-to-be board

Need baby shower inspiration? Get ideas here!
Visit the Baby Showers board

Chat with other crafty moms here!
Visit the Crafty Moms board

search boards

choose another board